I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize