While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
