wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize