i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hippo gnu deer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
