If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sext me about skeletons
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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