its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
