I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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