Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
