My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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