You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
