That's intense
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
