At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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