Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
