speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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