if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize