Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
