so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize