I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
