Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize