I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
