just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize