i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
