Where is the hickey?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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