Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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