Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
