He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
