idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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