i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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