i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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