did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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