grandma shit on top of the toilet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
