One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
