We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
