FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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