Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
