literally had 100 drinks last night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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