I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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