I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
