he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
