I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
