Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
