So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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