White coat. Heels.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
