walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
