Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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