tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
