Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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