I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
