38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
