How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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