You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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