I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
