I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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