Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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