with your own penis?
Michael Bay diarrhea
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
