You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
