so explain again why im purple
no
Don't make out with my wife yet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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