you have to choose: penises or morals?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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