A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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