My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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