I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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