Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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