When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
