dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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