i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize