I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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