My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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